Fear Cuts You Off From The Supply of Answers

A wise woman once told me that fears cuts you off from the supply of answers.  I had no idea that I had been living much of my life in a state of fear.  I was afraid of change though I wanted change.  I was afraid of not earning enough money, afraid I will never own property and the list goes on.  I was in a state of rote habits, doing what was asked and hoping that my sliver of the pies contains enough for me to get by and maybe, occasionally, thrive.

Afraid to move on from your job that no longer sparks creativity?  Feeling low about moving onto a higher position which challenges you more than where you are and in which you are qualified?  Feeling the pull of starting your own business, but afraid to take the leap?  I was too until I really dug into the idea of fear and how it is not serving me.  What I came to understand is that the origins of these fears were based in thought. One single thought that began years ago or in childhood that was accepted by me and spiraled out of control.  I was told the untruth, or I created it based on an experience.  For example, “Starting your own business is what people with master’s degree do. It is important to take a job that is “safe”.  You can’t make money being creative and, therefore, we can’t support this decision to go to that college.  At this point in your life, you really can’t afford to change directions in your career.  Teachers make no money. It’s a career of love not money”.  The list goes on. These untruths were accepted by me and I held myself in bondage by a system of beliefs I imposed and enforced.  In addition, these thoughts played out in other areas of my life, not just work.

After recognizing this belief system, I decided to begin eliminating the power of each thought one by one.  I did not attack all thoughts at once.  Simply one at a time. When an imperious thought would surface, I would slowly recognize it and dismiss its power by affirming that thought is untrue and replaced it with its opposite.  For example, “Starting your own business is something that people with master’s degrees do” became “I have the creative power to start a business and I have enough support and tools to do so.” Slowly, I became aware of the power of my thoughts and the absolute control I have over my life by rejecting the negative ones.  As I have said before, joy is our birthright.  If you are unhappy with the direction of your career, you have the power to redirect. Want to start your own business? You absolutely can! Eliminate your limited thoughts one belief at a time and watch how your life can change.

 

Finding Strength to Work When Unwanted News Shows Up

Have you been happily moving through life when horrible news appears?  Perhaps you take time off from work, but you eventually have to go back, don’t you?  How can you manage a personal loss, but do your work? How?

I unfortunately, had some horrible news show up in my life recently.  How, I wondered, can I carry on, do my work and grieve? How can I have human emotions, be a mom to a little toddler, a wife and work?  

First, if you can take time off.  Allow yourself to feel the deep human emotions that are coming up involving your unwanted news.  If you can not take off, do your best at work and know that you have acquired the skill set needed to assist you at this time.  Your work experience will carry you and remain confident that you will be be able to get through this difficult moment with grace.  For me, work was a moment to pause my grief/pain/sadness. Once work is over, go home or to your comfortable safe place and allow yourself time to process what has happened.  In order for you to move forward, it is necessary to feel your emotions fully.  Let them express in you how they want to. Stuffing them away only temporarily suppress them.

Each day you will get stronger.  Now is the time to focus on self-care and compassion. Remain healthy in your eating and sleeping habits, perhaps start a new book that elicits feelings of happiness, make a playlist of uplifting music so when you feel anxiety strike, you will bring a joyful beat into your heart, keep exercising or begin with outdoor walks. Now is not the time to slip away to the dark side, but rather be your best friend who is there to lift you up. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe and ask for help.  Friends and family will gladly assist you in your recovery after trauma/grief/sadness.

I write this from first hand experience.  I have had shocking and dreadful news twice in five months.  I wondered how I could I make it?  However, gratitude and appreciation for a life dominant with joy helped me greatly.  I took it day by day.  I remembered the past was gone and the future has yet to come. Here is where I found strength.  A strangers smile, my son’s laugh, a supportive friend bringing me food, a good cry, a new inspiring book to read before bedtime, no news, a long shower with essential oils, a hard cry, and practicing gratitude showed me the light of a new day and the clouds began to slowly, slowly lift.   You can not control what is happening, but you can control how you respond. This is where your power lays.

 

Don’t Let Logic Get in the Way of Change

Have you had the deep desire for change and have felt like it’s impossible?  Thinking your age, now way! Or perhaps this is not what you studied in school and therefore, not realistic.  Thoughts like, I’ve been in this field too long to make that change now. Maybe you have even said others are brave, I just want to make ends meet and not be broke.  Just maybe you have forgotten when you do what you love, money follows.

There are so many ways to rationalize staying complacent and unfulfilled.  I have had many clients tell me they are “happy with the money” they are making, but so very unhappy at their jobs or bored.  We are not meant to simply exist. We are meant to thrive! How do I know this? Same as you. How do you feel when you go to a job you dislike or feel bored and unchallenged vs doing something that lights you up?  Or the thought of working in an environment doing what you really love or starting your own company? There is a huge shift in energy when looking at both feelings. This is how I know that we are meant to live our greatest lives now!

“Don’t let your logic get in the way of change”. -Pastor Yolanda Batts-Celebration Spiritual Center, BK.  I couldn’t agree more. I have found that you are not in fear of doing what you actually want to do.  Of course you’re not. If you simply think of working, doing what you love, you feel joy and excitement.  The fear comes when you think of the absence of not doing what you desire and what it will take to “get there”.  When you align yourself with what you desire, everything shifts. You meet new people that can assist you, you discover classes that you will need, you are in the right place and the right time and have an opportunity you thought was impossible, doors open.

We are constantly in alignment with fear, worry, doubt, anxiety that we have forgotten the opposite is how we are meant to live: fearlessly, confidently, joyfully, energized. Changing our perception around the idea of change begins the journey to living life abundantly. You are a light in this world with gifts of talent. Use them in a way that brings you gratification!

“Only thing we have to fear is FEAR ITSELF.” FDR

The Root of Being Unhappy at Work

My job sucks.  I really don’t like my job.  I can’t stand working there.  It’s OK. It pays the bills.  I hate my job, but it is what I know.  It’s killing me.

I find that most always it’s not the job that people are dissatisfied with, but rather themselves for staying in a position that creates disappointment and unhappiness.  Has your manager deceived you in some way? If so, I can understand the incredible unhappiness in the workplace. Most often, this is not the case.

One thing to remember is your job is your choice.  Let us look at the wording of “My Job”. It is not yours in ownership literally.  It is what you are choosing to do. The more time you put into being in a position you “can’t stand”, the deeper the root grows in your dissatisfaction.  In addition, the longer you stay at that bleak job, the harder it will be to leave.

Let us examine the upside.  You acquire skills in every position no matter if you love or hate the job.  Bank your skills and know if you grow unhappy at work, you will leave.  You’ll ultimately have the control and confidence to change that job if need be.  Knowing that you can shift to another position that is more fulfilling is staying in alignment with your ultimate goal: Happiness and Success.

We are capable adults that have the power of choice.  We must protect our happiness even if it means getting uncomfortable (switching positions or sometimes careers) to get comfortable and joyful again.  Stop assigning guilt to your situation and get moving! You can learn, you can go back to school, you can seek opportunities, you can redirect your life, you can take back your power and declare you will no longer accept a position that fosters disappointment and unhappiness.

Self-Care & the Workplace

How do you feel at work?  Are you tired and exhausted regularly?  Do you feel like you are in a dry routine without any enjoyment or minimal pleasure?  Do you often describe your energy level as drained?  Perhaps it is time to look into some self-care.

  1. Exhaustion.  This is something that I have battled with.  I even went as far as going to the doctor to check my iron because I knew something was wrong.  Turns out, I needed to simply SLEEP.  Imagine that?  Try going to sleep earlier.  I know I need about 7.5-8 hours of sleep to function the best.  Figure out your sweet spot and adjust.
  2.  Put your favorite affirmation on your screensaver.  If not that, put something on your desk that reminds you of joy and happiness.  Perhaps a picture of a loved one (or animal), a picture of a dream destination.  Anything that reminds you there is more to life than work.
  3.  Remember that your purpose in life is “LOVE” .  Your occupation is your choice. You are not your job.  It is what you do.  What happens at your job is an experience in your life.  It is not your life.
  4.  Lunchtime.  Make sure you eat healthy, balanced food and take a break to eat.  Even if you stay at work, get away from your work desk, stop and eat calmly.  Eating well will nourish the brain and body.
  5.  Take a break away from the office.  I would eat in the office break room, but would take a walk after for 10-20 minutes.  If you can, get outside. Perhaps a 10 minute break/meditation of sitting still outside?  It really helps to change the scenery.  Yes, even standing outside of the office on a busy street can clear your mind.
  6.  Rushing.  Don’t do it!  Get up 10 minutes early and arrive a bit early.  Added bonus is that it gives you a few minutes to socialize before ‘the doors open’.  Rushing causes stress.  When you feel calm you can adjust to work easily leading to a more productive day.
  7.  Leaving on time!  I know this can be the greatest challenge.  There will always be more to do.  Always.  Remember that it has been proven time and time again that leaving on time leads to better rest, less stress and in the end better work productivity the next day.  If you want to be more focused, you must leave work and take a mental and physical break.  I will repeat, it is not your life.
  8.  Fun!  Yes, you can and must have fun outside of work.  Again, your work is what you do by choice and it is not the master of your life.  You are in control.  Joyful living is one of the greatest emotions which leads to one of the most powerful life boosters: Appreciation.